News flash from SoDak…

BANG! My stay here in the black hills has been like a bullet soaring by and I am still grasping for simple moments with my family and friends. They seem too few and I have yet to steal away more. The return has been stirring not only emotionally but mentally and spiritually. I can not begin to describe my delight to be with my family again. To see my beautiful niece, Ella, and nephew, Caleb, for the first time made me melt like a snow cone on a hot summer day. I have passed some of these numbered days trying to rock climb with my niece and nephew, Rachael and Chase, while unwittingly meeting Rachael’s boyfriend. It was an experience all too startling for I had still not thought me ready to let her go. I was able to spend time with my sister, Carol, who came all the way from Minnesota to welcome me home. Her passion for nature and sheer tenacity in all things eased my hesitant transition. I have spent many a night reminiscing with my parents and brother, Pat, on the deck as the sun sheds its last rays and the stars begin to slowly illuminate the sky. I have been trying to spend time with my grandmother painting and doing some odds and ends. It hasnt been enough and I feel guilty and always promise to swing by more often. She is still extremely coherent and complains that old age is a kick in the ass when conversations are faint mummbles; seeing can be only blurred images of familiar faces, reading is done by a projector and the constant aches, pains and health problems are as common as your morning coffee. Its no wonder why she feels burdened. She is an independent woman forced to be dependant. I went hiking with my spirited young niece, Bonnee, getting lost in the lush twines of our back hills and eventually finding our way back again. I was selling it as a life lesson but I do not believe she bought it. The truth is that each moment I have been given with my family is like finding precious stones and placing them in a treasure chest, safely tucked away in the heart of me. I must say the transition back to society has not come so naturally. The hustle and bustle of American life is not the most genial. People speed by seemingly placing deliberate importance on their objective and ignoring the importance of anyone else. Impatient or calloused by any interference it seems what most commonly ensues are aggravated gestures or unneeded responses. The simple paced life seems not to exist anywhere but in nature away from it all. I have become a recluse in the forest coming out only to make a few bones at a local store/pub called the Kickstand Corner. Even such a basic social interaction was met with acid rings burning in my abdomen. I was ever so liberal shall we say crashing face first with conservative country folk. I met it with a hard silence and crude cynicism. Fox News seemed to line the television screen provoking one-sided banter and it felt like my brain was being beaten over the pub bar. Hearing conversations containing blatant discrimination against race and religion set my tongue on fire though I believe my teeth caught most of the flame. I must emphasize that this was from a set few and not from everyone though at the time it felt to come from the masses. To say the least I was struggling but with some exceptionally wise words from my father and a bit of faith I realized that these were only the things I wanted to see and it was a small picture. I began trying to see things as a whole and was blown away by it. My compassionate boss, Candy, not only allowed me to sell my jewelry on her store counter but took nothing in return. She was considerate with my schedule knowing that my family was important and I needed to spend time with them even though she was short staffed and over-worked. Margaret, the manager, was quick-witted and colorful and she helped me understand how to handle bar talk. The barely tolerable local base became tolerable and I began to try and balance out things that I had previously never thought possible to balance out. They would share with me their stories and a bit of their life and it helped me understand that though we are all flawed in many ways we can still be good at heart. It has been a journey and as a whole coming back has made me realize that though we are twisted in many things and I do not agree with so many of our actions as a country, I see that we the people still exist and this gives me hope that one day we can unite together for a common good. So I will continue to learn and see colors I have never seen before whilst allowing some spare time to rejuvenate in my Black Hills, a place where God will always be and where I can always find him.